SkoolzLife

Post of retirement

2007-03-25T10:32:00.000+08:00

A post to signal the end of the blogging for this website.

A blogsite which contains quite a number of my thoughts explicitly so explicit that I shudder at what the capability of my thoughts.

The journey of life will continue regardless.

Please bear with me

2007-03-24T23:40:00.000+08:00

People abuse drugs, people abuse alcohol, and some people abuse other people.

I may have been abusive too. To myself, that is.

Career... Financial supplements... Financial commitments...

Not to mention old injuries sustained in the past because I am not taking good care of myself. Not to mention alcoholism which left me doubting my liver's condition.
Not to mention new injuries as worse as back injury.
Not to mention that my daily diet is way off the regular charts because of work.

Body, body, please bear with me. I need you to function at more than 100%.

P.S. to body: I wanna live till end of the world.

Life

2007-03-24T23:28:00.000+08:00

We have so many people out there wondering what is life.

There is one pedagogy which encourages teachers to use daily examples to teach students. How about this then?

What is life for living things? (Let's use a lion in the wild for comparison)

1. You can relate it to you being born, then growing. (That's when cubs are there as well.)
2. As you grow, you will learn the skills and knowledge so that you can get a job and you will work to feed yourself and your family too. (Cubs learn to hunt as they grow. In the end, they will have to hunt for food. Failure to do so will lead to death.)
3. School, society, country can be equated to animals being in packs, just whether it is small or big.
4. Rules for school, laws for society and country can be equated to the pack leader enforcing order in its pack, or there will be chaos.
5. Friendship is a tool we use to find people to be close with, to care about. Friends are people we can get along with. (Animals have to choose the members for their packs. And the members have to get along with each other.)
6. Love is a tool we choose our mates. (Animals choose their mates.)
7. We all die, including the animals.

So maybe, if you look it this way, we are far more advanced and developed than animals. Then again, there's not much difference if we look at the basics.

So what if we get recognition and satisfaction? Time will erase it eventually. Fundamentally, we are preparing ourselves so that the human race will live on.

The Orge's Choice

2007-03-24T14:14:00.000+08:00

Fantasy story writers love to use this metaphor - the Orge's choice. To die fast or to die slow, where either way will be to die.

The old man is unwanted. His physical presence is not wanted in his home, being a ghost at home.

The only time his presence is felt will be when the money rolls in. Then after the less than 1 minute internet transaction, he is back as an unseen ghost.

Yet the people living in the house are not satisfied. Now they want to rid the house of the ghost and yet still want the transactions.

Too bad for them, the ghost may continue to 'haunt' them at least for 8 more years, till it has become stronger to move and find a new haunting while still giving them the transactions.

Ganbatte for 8 years!

Weak...

2007-03-22T23:00:00.000+08:00

Quote of the day: If you love something, let it go. It will fly off and never return. - Murphy's Law of Love
Being a believer of Murphy's laws, I might say that the law of love can be true in some aspects. Here's one aspect.

Humans are flawed. Characters are flawed. Judgement is flawed. Cognitive thinking is flawed. Feelings are flawed. There is no perfect being.

So all of the above mentioned will only lead to flawed companionship, flawed interpretation, flawed decision making, and flawed influence be it emotional or cognitive.

If you love something so badly, you may want to see the best in the person in future. Yet you will not want to jeopardise it, because you are flawed, so you have to let go.

True to some extent...

Blue Sky

2007-03-20T00:06:00.000+08:00

Sighing, the old man drew in a breath. His eyes had long been closed to the sight of beauty, for he knew he was back in his dready world, a world where promises, hopes and dreams were gibberish.

Yet through the courtesy of a passerby, the old man's eyes fluttered briefly. What he had thought impossible to capture, it was captured in the artpiece of the clear blue sky, where one would cast aside his worries or doubts for a brief moment.

The moment, no matter how brief, was appreciated. The old man now proceeds to search for a path only he can walk.

Passing over...

2007-03-17T23:25:00.000+08:00

An old man in his rocking chair... His failing eyes staring into the blank space where the fire has gone out in the fireplace long ago... His withered parched face wrinkled in a smile... as he reminisced about his past...

He has forgotten about the painful, sorrowful, regretful times. He has his eyes only on the happy moments where the devil cannot reach him. He recalls the happiness which was at its truest form at their moments, not tainted by any aftermath.

He remembers the musical voices when they were filled with love, not tainted by the harsh reality that followed. He remembers those times with fondness and ached that they could not be realised.

The devil comes... Let him come... He will use these as his shield. He will use his honed experience through pain and regret as his spear. He still has one last battle and he will live on to witness the future...

Hamala

2007-03-16T22:51:00.003+08:00

High Ability Mixed Ability. Low Ability. There are these classifications. Ever since the existence of science, people just have to define everything.
Yet the definitions help. In this society where communications are the fundamental blocks for relationships between people, it will be a major issue when people do not understand each other. There are various factors but one factor may be the complexity of thinking one has. Words have a lot of different meanings, and when used in different contexts, more interpretations will arise, resulting in misunderstandings.
Some misunderstandings are unavoidable, some minor. Yet some are so persistent and consistent, that one may realise that maybe communication has broken down even when there is talking.
Some people may assume that it is because of the different level of thinking between two parties, but personally, I will feel that this type of misunderstanding happens when two people of different mindsets refuse to put down the biaseness of their individual mindsets.There is no one who can say this is a tragedy. People have their reasons to believe in what they think. My question will be: do you really believe in the way of thinking which will benefit you all the way, even into the far future? Or do you know at you will change your mindset later? It is painful to find out that the mindset which one has would push another person away when that very mindset will be changed in the future.

Fate

2007-03-16T22:51:00.001+08:00

I have never liked this word. If I had followed fate, I will still be homeless and in the line of customer services. I could have used fate as an excuse to alleviate my shortcomings and failures. I could have used fate to explain everythimg and anything in my life.
No, I know very well for myself that I have difficulty becoming the majority. It is my character that always questions.
I prefer to think it in a way that I am in charge of myself so that I will not run from the consequences of the choices I made. And I will bear whatever regret or sorrow I may have to face.
Do not forget that choices are made by yourself. Fate does not choose for you. Some chose the easiest way out and brushed it aside as fate. It only shows that the decision is not as important as you think it will be.

Are you a friendly person?

2007-03-16T22:50:00.001+08:00

Some people have all the good comments like ''Oh, you are such a wonderful person. You can be a friend to anyone.''
That might be the truth if you put it positively. If you really think about it, you will be wondering. Firstly, is the person who said this biased? Secondly, is the group of friends you have around you really diversified in their ways of thinking?
Well, just one point to contradict all I have said will be what may matter most is that you and your friends are happy together. Then again, someone may be bound to think more about this.

Social Circle

2007-03-16T22:46:00.000+08:00

I have seriously lost touch with the reality out there in the society. I have only miring about in my world as well as the world of fiction I attempted to write.
When I am finally in the right mindset to socialise now, I realise that the world has moved on without me. I am not bitter about this. After all, time waits for none. This gave me an insight that no one is really very important in the flow of time. If you happen to remove yourself from the flow, people around you will still move on or another substitute will take your place.
It is just a matter of time.

Dark thoughts...

2007-03-15T22:53:00.000+08:00

Narcissistic
I saw this word on the board of a previous English class. I was deeply amused. Even it might be for creative class, this word is hardly applicable for primary school level. I must admit that I am quite poorly versed in English to know this word just recently as well.
The reason why I said it is not widely used might be the very definition of the word itself. Narcissism: 1. Excessive love or admiration of oneself 2. A psychological condition characterised by self preoccupation, lack of empathy, and unconcious deficits in self esteem 3. Erotic pleasure derived from contemplation or admiration of one's own body or self 4. The attribute of the human psyche characterised by admiration of oneself but within normal limits. From American Heritage Dictionary
Now there are quite a lot of rationale why the word 'fuck' is not taught in schools. Generally, we can say that it is a word which emanates negativity. So if 'fuck' is frowned upon, isn't narcissism should be also treated the same by its definitions?
Something to be thought about...

Putting all eggs in a basket
Ancient wise men had this saying on top of the values they tried to cultivate into the society.
I am not one of them. My interpretation can be as follow:
1. Always have a backup plan
2. Do not put all hopes in one aspect
I have my share of disappointment when I thought I could have entertainment today for at least once in this week, since the rest of the week is just so mundane with work. Unfortunately, it was not realised because of lack of time and time management. Next time, I really have to go along with a better organiser.
Anyway, the talk of the day is about the meaning behind the saying.
I find this saying especially contradicting in the aspect of values, friendship, love and other aspects. Should we place all our hopes and expectations in these aspects or should we reserve some of our feelings back? If we reserve, there will be no complete trust. And do we really have all the evidence to be able to believe?
Seeing is believing. Belief also stems from perspective of the individual. Our belief may be based on incomplete information we gathered. A good example will be how well do I know a person based on the limited time of interaction. So are we believing a universal truth or truth as believed by a large majority of people.
A thought to darken your day.

Start of rampant raving blog

2007-03-14T23:51:00.000+08:00

Wasting time is not a habit I will like but here I am keying away furiously at my pda in MOS burger before my lessons. 4 freaking long hours of lessons later. And I think the worst part is not being able to know if these 4 hours will actually help those people.

From what I have gathered, not all of them are in for the lessons because they really need it. They are in this because their parents want them to be. And one interesting female said it's something like the gym membership. You pay so that you are forced to be engaged in learning although you always can study alone. Wonderful thought from a 13 year old.

Well, bottomline, I don't care at all. Haha. They are entitled to their opinions. I am here for the money and the fact that I love to see the grimaces in their faces when they have to think really hard.

COMPLAINTS

Sometimes it is so hard to be a nice guy. I thought I was doing my job getting them to really understand through questioning. I need to get them to be involved and more positive BUT they just only want spoon feeding.

For all I know, they can actually spend less engaging a speaking computer encyclopedia programme!

No... They just love to complain when they found out that you missed a point when you gave them additional points beyond the text. They just love to complain because you used proper English instead of Singlish. They also love to complain that you did not write every word you speak on the board and eventually not reading what you have written on the board.
These are those who unconsciously know that you are stripped of authority and dignity once you enter this line.

By the Gods, I will love to see them in my class in school. On second thought, let's not. I don't want students like them.

Message

2007-03-13T10:53:00.000+08:00

Arigato iwanaiyo
Zuttoshi matte oku
Sayonara wa kagerinai
Yume no ato shizukani ni oritatsu
Ryoute ni wa furi sosogu kakera wo
Itsumademo daite
Anata wa waratteru tsuyosa wo
Moushitteita ka?

One whole round

2007-03-13T00:50:00.000+08:00

One whole round and one whole year it took,
For me to understand what I am,
For me to understand who she is,
For me to understand who she can be.

One whole round and one whole year it took,
To know that I have to accept myself,
To know that I do not really agree with people,
To know that she cannot be who I want her to be.

One whole round and one whole year it took,
To gain understanding,
To gain more experience,
To lose someone deemed precious.

One cannot hold in one's arms that one could never hold in one's heart...
Sometimes it is necessary to lose a diamond among the stones, simply because the diamond does not have your name engraved on it...

Any help?

2007-03-10T22:37:00.000+08:00

Imagine a king telling beggar A while eating a chicken drumstick, "You can always have one of these too. Just be positive minded and not be so childish in thinking you cannot."

Imagine a king telling beggar A, "Lend me some money, because I cannot draw from my coffers."

Imagine a king telling Beggar A, "You have to lend Beggar B some money because I cannot draw from my coffers to lend Beggar B."

Imagine Beggar A finally managing to save up to get a drumstick, the king went, "OH! You manage to get yourself a drumstick. You are spending needlessly because of your status... So you can lend me $$."

Imagine Beggar A selling away his pricey instruments to his buddies because he felt the buddies needs it and it will be better if the buddies could get it at a lower price. And to avoid misunderstanding, he claims he was bored of the instruments. All he wanted was some appreciation. In the end all he received was the comment, "You really don't know how to save money." ... when Beggar A has been scrimping to save to lend out too.

So tell me, what can Beggar A do?

Importance of Time

2007-03-07T23:26:00.000+08:00

Time can be a saviour and a killer based on situations.

It is true that time is money and that certainly applies to work. Of course, there is the catch as in how much we are paid according to the hour.

Time can also mean whether you are able to save a life in serious situations.

Anyway, the time I am going to talk about is time committed to relationships. It really depends on the people involved and their lifestyles so they can find a common time so that they can spend it together.

Life in society is so hectic nowadays that finding time is almost impossible. People have to move out of their comfort zones for the jobs they want, or to be who they want to be.

Time can be found in those dark hidden corners.

Shigoto.. Shigoto... Shigoto...

2007-03-05T23:29:00.000+08:00

Shigoto = work, in the language of Japanese roughly.

There are so many doubts in so many aspects that it is scary. Religion plays a part in soothing these doubts. Friends play a part in soothing these doubts. And work is also one of them.

Worried about finance - just work
Worried about health but you have no money - just work
Worried about people around you - just work
Worried about XXXXXXXX - just work

Work, for me, can at least drive everything back to a dark dark corner where I can be oblivious to it. I will just work and work and work. If I am tired, I will still work and work and work till I concuss.

I am just numbing myself.

Character Change

2007-02-28T23:50:00.000+08:00

Received a comment from someone who has not seen me for six months at least. She said that it was like meeting a stranger, as in the impression I give her now is totally different from the past.

Well, a friend just told me that I am thinking too much because this is now entirely another situation. Maybe yes, maybe not. I know I am still myself because I still think this much. Haha.

Yet, just not long ago, I did get the same feedback from someone really close to me. I guess she still finds me strange from my past self.

I did some reflection and I think I realise I just don't want to stay hidden in the shadows, pretending to be ignorant about what I think. I know I am always very critical, that was why I have to act blur and ignorant so that people won't think I am weird. In the end, I am still weird, so I may have reached a point that I decide to cast away the shadows and be myself. I don't want to be a clown anymore.

I am weird...

Wasting a fine strawberry cheese cake

2007-02-26T23:09:00.000+08:00

Today is a really surprising happy day for me. No wonder people always add the 'happy' before birthday. Anyway it started off with a surprise birthday celebration in the school canteen AGAIN. I hate being surprised especially in the school canteen. Haha. However, it is really nice that they have a small cake and candles for me to make my wish. I ended up with a new notebook and a small notebook with totally aesthetic black pages later in the day!! Guess I will be forced to purchase a white ink pen soon.

Then lunch came and another surprise was launched by another group of friends. I had not really expected a new shirt. My friends always like to give me new shirts if they think my wardrobe cannot make it. And the size fits really well. The draft photo shows it.

I had dinner with another group of friends at New York New York. Poor someone cannot come along because she was down with gastric. New York New York is nice but its steak could be better. Yet no complaints again because of the interesting company around me and also a friend who will be having his birthday this friday. We had coffee later as well at Pacific Cafe, and we had a good time chatting.

I really have to thank the efforts put in and the company of those friends who really made my day today. I have also received warm best wishes from those who could not meet up as well. I have not celebrated my birthday with friends for such a long period and it is really fun and warm-hearted. Thank you!

Now coming to the main point about the strawberry cheese cake. Since that somebody could not meet up, so I guess I could buy a small piece of cake (although I am very full at that point of time) down to her place (void deck or staircase) so that she could celebrate my birthday. In the end, she could not go out, so I ended up standing by the roadside in the drizzle with a lit candle on the cake, listening to her birthday song over one of the wonders of technology, so all those by the window can see me. One times stupid hopeless guy in the making here. So I blew the candle myself and tasted the cake myself but since I was too full, there goes the cake into the bin.

I felt for the cake... but somehow I am happy about it as well.

Professionals?

2007-02-25T11:25:00.000+08:00

Doctors, lawyers... They have their boards to ensure proficiency to a certain extent, to maintain their recognition of professionalism in the society. Few could question them because few may have the access to the knowledge they have.

Question: What about teachers? Do you think the parents would understand fully the reason behind the paradigm shift? Do you think the parents really understand the structural and progressive learning we have to give to our students? Do you think they understand the logic and rationale behind whatever we teach?

I may say "Yes" to a certain extent. After all, parents have been through the education system more or less, but they would not understand from the eyes and mind of a teacher planning the lesson. Not even some tuition teachers would understand as well. Not me as well if you were to ask if I understand fully. However, of course, there are those who are good in this.

I hear those colleagues who question why we are still not TRULY recognised as professionals. I am still struggling to improve myself here. There are also a few others who still have their misconceptions about the paradigm shift and the new pedagogies.

I can say it is a never-ending learning journey for all of us. Standards are changing with the era and the society. We are attempting to teach students the skills to solve problems we may not know they might exist in the future. We are SUPER humans, but yet not professionals.

Cheers.

Decision Making

2007-02-24T13:34:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, when people are so different, it is so difficult to be together. Compromises have to be constantly made. Yes, you can say that people can never be the same, but perhaps the extent of the difference has to be considered as well.

The question will be how far can this go? How long can it be maintained before it burned out?

I want it to go on. I don't want it to end with regrets. I want to share your version of pure happiness and bliss, but I don't want to be ignorant in today's society. Yours is a fairy tale where I cannot be the Prince, but only the cynical dark sorceror. Yours is a rainbow with seven distinct colours whereas my spectrum is all mixed and confused. Yours is the path down the rabbit's hole into your wonderland, where I am falling into uncharted territories.

Guess you will just have to make do with a cynical dark sorceror, a scrambled rainbow and a lost guy in the rabbit's hole. Will you be afraid to accept this?

Masala

2007-02-24T13:19:00.000+08:00

Muthu's Curry... Fish head curry... Masala chicken... We enjoyed it all especially for someone who loves Masala.

This might be funny but I finally got a chance to hang out and chill with people other than the usual clicks last night over dinner and over drinks after dinner.

It was enjoyable and memorable. It was good company, but we are so seriously not going back to Muthu's curry when we were served by a Chinese waiter. Haha.

Overwhelmed

2007-02-22T01:33:00.000+08:00

Today I had the privilege of having lunch with one righteous man and five ladies. I could not really describe how I felt about this because throughout the meal, I could just only sit there.
Sit there and listen.
Sit there and eat whatever is put into the bowl.
Sit there and reply briefly to any question directed at you.
Sit there and listen basically.
I have forgotten how female power is like when they unite. This is a good reminder. However, I still enjoy the meal as I am one good listener.

Transformer! More than meet the Eye!!!

2007-02-19T10:47:00.000+08:00

Wish I really could be like the Transformer. When they cry "Transform!", they just transform from one form to another in maybe around two seconds. That's fast. I want to cry "Shield down! Feelings up!" but I guess I need to take a bit more time than the Transformer.

Feeling is difficult. An irony in today's world where you are encouraged to feel but people may trample you down if you feel. There have been so many blogs out there, crying out "I don't want to CARE!"

Yet I knew HOPE when I saw one. It was disappointing that HOPE did not know the importance of being HOPE. And so I trounced HOPE around, hoping HOPE knew in the end. However, in the end, both HOPE and I suffered because we tried to console ourselves by crying out the famed words, "I don't want to CARE!"

Chinese New Year was bleak in so many years. This time round, there is a glimmer of hope. I want to cry "I CARE!" so I decide to pick HOPE up again. We will start afresh, we will learn to care for each other, and let there be no "I don't want to CARE!" ever.

Stupid person deserves stupid life

2007-02-18T01:34:00.000+08:00

When someone says that thing is hot, people will normally keep away from it. However, I will be the one who will go ahead and touch it and suffer in the end, although this is also the best way to discern truth from lies.

Guess this characteristic of mine is a double-edged sword. I see more things in many other perspectives but I also suffer due to that.

I have to see for myself. My character is flawed. There are two sides of myself, which belong to two distinct worlds in a single society. So I went back to the places which hold the keys to my past memories, be they sad or happy. My quest for answers only resulted in more questions and no answers.

Yet I could feel differently now. I know now I don't want to go back to the nocturnal life I once had. As much as I like socialising, I want it to be in a healthier way. Chilling with drinks is a bad choice, but chilling with company is not. As much as I assume, I also realise that as long as people care, it is truthful, no matter how little the efforts seem to be.

Thank you, my friends for the concern shown and thank you, my friends for the company, and thank you, my friends for your desire to come up with a gathering when I need it.

Self-Discovery

2007-02-17T20:05:00.000+08:00

My philosophy in life would be "Just do what is needed". It helped me to pull through critical moments in my life (not life-threatening but important issues). It helped me not to fall deeper into depression.

Yet, after three years of this philosophy, I found everything backfiring. Though I moved on physically, financially, economically, and even emotionally, I did not get over the incidents which had failed to topple me.

All of a sudden, when my shield was being lowered in an attempt to do something which I hoped I can do, they crept back from the darkness like poisonous centipedes always lurking in my shadows. My failures in my life gnawed at me, my inability to handle issues clawed at me, my desperation and hopelessness in those regrettable issues dragged me back into the darkness. The scars I had were not healed but festering.

I then regretted my comments about a person not being strong enough to handle her failures. I had moved on but that doesn't mean I have gotten over them.

What route should I take?

Imperfection

2007-02-17T10:08:00.000+08:00

We think and we assume. We think and we act. Thinking is so important that people sometimes forgot to feel.

Sometimes when life is so hard, we harden ourselves by creating a barrier or a shield so that we can protect ourselves. If we think the shield is not as strong, we strengthen it. If it is still not as strong, we strengthen it again. We keep strengthening it till it is perfect.

So perfect that we also cast out the people we hope to care for. It is so perfect that we cannot cast it down, so perfect that we become detached. So perfect that we become inhuman.

A piece of thought for people who bother to read. Think or feel. Make the choice earlier for the right developmental path.

Choices we make in life

2007-02-09T19:42:00.000+08:00

In life, we gain friends and we lose friends. Sometimes we gain very good friends, sometimes we lose close friends. Sometimes, thinking back, you would have thought, "Hey, I could have done something to gain that friend back.", but the time has passed.

Take it in stride. Sometimes, people will choose different paths in their lives and their paths are not the same as yours, resulting in the distance between you and the person. If you really want to be with the person, then you will have to chase the person along his new path. If not, you will have to see the person leave your life. You may think that it is very tiring if you want to chase, then ask yourself this, "Is it really worth it?"

Choose wisely and don't regret.

Resolutions and promises

2007-01-13T08:01:00.000+08:00

I would like to keep fit. I would like to be top in everything. I would like to be more helpful to people around me. I would like to treat my loved ones nicer. I would like to improve my attitude. I would like to be more sociable. I would like to have a meaningful life. I would like to cut down on my gaming. I would like to spend less.

Notice the "would like to". It is in the past and it is not absolute. That means all these past resolutions were only successful to certain extents.

Year 2007 marks another new year and that means I am older by one year too. I realise then that I have discarded so many resolutions in at least 10 years of my life because I cannot keep them.

I also realise I have not been keeping my promises to people all the time. I then realise I am not keeping my promises to myself, too. After all, what are resolutions? They can be promises to yourself, promises to be a better person.

This realisation makes me an unhappy person, but I recover almost instantly. No one is perfect. We deserve a second chance as long as we try our best. So here is to my 27th year's resolutions. I will like to be able to meet my resolutions.

Cheers.

Misconception on mercury

2006-12-12T00:43:00.000+08:00

There is quite a serious misconception that people have about mercury. There are people who do not know that mercury is natural and not man-made and mercury is actually an element (Hg) in the periodic table in the section of heavy transition metals.

The term for mercury in the past is called quicksilver. It was also rumoured to be one of the sought ingredients for the immortality elixir for the first emperor of China. It is in liquid form at room temperature, a reason which mislead people to have the above misconception that mercury is artificial.

Mercury does have compounds which exist in solid form. Our dental fillings for our tooth cavities is one example.

Mercury is extracted from cinnabar, red mercury(II) sulfide (HgS), or vermilion, the common ore of mercury. (wikipedia.org)

Nobel Prize

2006-12-12T00:34:00.000+08:00

What should be the way? What should be important?

Food for thought:

There is the misconception quite a number of people have nowadays where they would agree that the Nobel Prize is important and valuable.

The facts that the Nobel Prize is there to motivate the scientists to discover greater inventions or modifications to aid in Man's progress and that the efforts put in by the scientists and researchers is no less important were forgotten by some.

This is just one incident for us to reassess our thinking.

Death Note Manga

2006-11-07T10:30:00.000+08:00

All thanks to star of night's website that I got this fanart of L. All thanks to the movie, that I purposely downloaded 464 megabytes worth of manga to read.

And the conclusion is that the manga is much more worth it, much more exciting than what the show has provided. It's just a pity some of the characters did not make it till the end.

If you know me, and want the manga, drop me a note.

Death Note

2006-10-31T22:53:00.000+08:00

Death Note is a wonderful show which challenges the minds of the characters in the story as well as the audience of the show. I can see certain links which will come out in the second part of the movie, like the phrase "L, do you know that Death God likes apples?"

Yet I also wonder about the numbers that appear when the Death God looked upon at Kira. The numbers when put together in order from left to right is 93312639 - a handphone number just nice. It is hardly a date or is it encoded?? I won't want to call the number to disturb the other person at the receiving end...

There are also the flaws, as in FBIs are protrayed to be so mindless. With their training, they should know that the transmitter is a short distance transmitter especially when Kira asked him only to look straight at the front. The names and photos of the agents are known to Kira, yet the FBI, Raye, was asked to fill in the names on pieces of papers put in a folder. Didn't Raye find it odd rather than just sweat and obey?

Well of course, Raye is not the hero. Putting that aside, Death Note is still quite a cool show to be watched. Stay tune for the next episode!

*Any numbers or names written in this entry is purely coincidental, as followed by the contents of the movie.

Another first in my 26 years of life...

2006-10-21T23:46:00.000+08:00

You can never say you know everything for new things unknown to you will always be around, just waiting for you to discover.

Well, I discovered something new today... Imagine a plate of "chilli clams" (is that what you call LaLa)... and then you realise that in the shells there are little crabs...

Then questions will be popping in your head like: What are they doing there? Who is the predator (the clam or the crab)? And is there any bad thing going on if you find crabs in the clams?

Points for you to ponder about for I don't know the answer as well..

Reflection

2006-10-21T23:41:00.000+08:00

After such a long period of dormancy in my website, I sat down to reflect and realised the problem. I am not teaching now... That is most probably why this website which is dedicated to school life has nothing to be updated.

Henceforth from this moment, this website will also include bits and pieces of interesting stuff that happen in my daily life, so as in a faint bid to keep this website going...

Cheerz.

Flexibility should always be considered. Giving up should always be rejected.

Freedom and Following your Heart

2006-07-15T22:57:00.000+08:00

Too often do we complain that there is no freedom. Too often we say that we must follow our heart and do what is right and there is no way anyone is going to stop us.

I think there are some misconceptions here.

Only when we cannot get what we want then do we complain about the absence of freedom. And we use that as an excuse to rebel saying that we think it is right because we follow our heart.

Yet we forget to ask ourselves these questions. Do we appreciate whatever freedom that has already been given to us? Are we really following our hearts if what we choose to do will hurt the people around us?

Know this. If you really feel that you are deprived of freedom, and that you are in the right, just make sure whatever you do, you shouldn't hurt anyone around you.

Sometimes the path to success is long and tedious, but don't lose hope. As long as you are travelling along that path the right way, you will succeed.

Killer expectations

2006-07-04T20:14:00.000+08:00

The world out there... the society out there... It is always changing and so do people too. And when the people change, it means expectations are rising too, from yourself and the people around you.

When I went to take the teaching course, I had a lot of dreams then, aspiring to be a good subject teacher with all the high end skills of questionings and teaching strategies. I have new and higher expectations of myself.

Yet now when I am posted to this school which school name is related to Smallville, I then realised that because of too many expectations, I am not enjoying myself when I should be. When I joined teaching, it is not mainly for career wise but because... ( think I better not say since there are students reading this blog)

Anyway, have you felt that sometimes you are being stifled by expectations from yourself and the people around you? You shouldn't feel so. What is most important is that you have done your best and that you are still enjoying life...

GTO Returns vs Superman Returns

2006-07-01T09:24:00.000+08:00

Yeah. I have always been a fan of Superman, but not to the extent of leaping from the building with a cape (That's suicide.) Even so, I find myself oddly happy this month. I am not having a holiday which I am supposed to, but posted to another school for one month.

This particular school versus the previous school I had taught in... Nah. I don't really care much for it. I care more for the fact that I am once again a Training Teacher in a school and not a student! I just can't wait to be a full- fledged teacher! GTO RETURNS!

However, if I do have to compare, I will really say some teacher made me feel that there is only one word to describe - BUSY. Well, it is probably not all the teachers hopefully.

On top of the markings and teaching and lesson preparations, administrative work, events' preparations, meetings... They are once again here to plague the teachers' lives. One thing I learnt is that it is most probable that only a fellow teacher can feel for another teacher because not a lot of people out there do really understand just as we don't understand others.

It is sometimes wishful thinking that students would understand part of our efforts to really want to help them in any way we can, but then again, would they?

New Year Resolutions

2006-01-25T19:39:00.000+08:00

Hi, I have really not been active since Oct 05. This is the moment which belongs to Jan 06, and that will mean that I have been inactive for at least 3 months! 2006. A new year. That reminds me that I am older too!

It is time for me to sit back and do my new year's resolutions. New Year's Resolutions are not something done up for fun. Neither should you be utterly disappointed if you cannot meet your resolutions, as long as you take efforts to try.

What is most important about New Year's Resolutions to me is that you get to reflect on yourself and try to find out how you can change yourself to improve yourself.

Ganbatte for all in your New Year's Resolutions. New Year is a time for you to push back all the mistakes you have done, all the things done you have regretted. It is a time for a new 'you'.=)

Life can only be lived once, so treasure it and do not waste too much time! ;)

Doing it for Your Sake Vs for Others' sake??

2005-10-02T21:52:00.000+08:00

Parents... Teachers... They are categorised by some students as 'naggers'. "Do this, Do that, You must.. " That would be their favourite phrase of the day and it is literally everyday. Worse, you let their expectations become the driving force unto yours... till you do not know if you are doing for yourself or because of the pressure...

So qn: are you really doing it for your good? Note that I do not say 'for yourself', but 'for your good'.

For yourself, it will be following your heart. For your good, it will be that you know whether you should do your best so that you won't regret it even 10 years down the road.

So qn: If what you are doing now is really really OK with you, do you need to be affected by others' expectations and opinions?

Be truthful to yourself. You can lie all you want, just don't lie to yourself. If you are not happy, you are not. If you are happy, you do not even need to ask yourself.

HAPPY TEACHERS' DAYZzZz!!!

2005-09-01T22:28:00.000+08:00

1st September!! Teachers' Day!! I would have thought I could spend it in that particular school and it would be the first time I would be celebrating Teacher's Day as a teacher!

Fat Hope! Haha. I had to go to school to slog through the lessons with the other student teachers as well. Quite a few of them were invited to their school's teachers' dinner last night, though.

Yet so, even if I do not really get to enjoy the holiday since there was none for me, I was still as happy as a lark. One of the students still remembered my number and took the trouble to call in to wish a happy teachers' day, even though I had only relieved their class for two days.

Saying so, I recalled just 2 days ago, I met my previous secondary PE teacher who is now a lecturer. It had been at least 13 years, yet he still remembered my face! Inspite of myself, I found myself bowing my head, even though I am a student teacher now. Old virtues like courtesy taught in primary and secondary still died hard. I was really happy to see him, as he was too seeing me.

I guess Teachers cannot always be around for the students, but what matter most is whether we have given them good memories and teachings (be it academic or values). Teachers are humans too, as we also feel an upsurge in spirit and morale as long as one student keep us in their hearts.

Cheerz!!

ForgottenzzZzz?

2005-08-27T11:38:00.000+08:00

I am not a Christian but I find the words in the picture quite relevant. There are always people whom you think have forgotten about you, especially when you are feeling sad and lonely. There are also people you think you have offended and therefore they have forgotten about you, not contacting you anymore. There is always someone who listened and believed in rumours and you think the person ignore and forget you. There is also the family whom you think have forgotten about you when you really need them to listen to you and give you advice and give you assurance that everything is alright.

However, this is not so. It is not their fault and also not your fault. The truth is that they will never forget about you. Everyone is so special, and that includes YOURSELF too.

Why not think it this way? Everytime you think someone has forgotten you, you are putting one brick between you and that particular person. Each time you think again, you put another brick. Time pass and one super big brick wall now stands between you and that person. Why do you want to do that?

The solution is always the simplest and the easiest. Just break down that wall and contact the person. If that person is not there to listen, that means the wall is not cleared up yet. Try again after some time. Try again after that some time. I did not say breaking down the wall is easy. It all depends on you and your perseverence.

The moral is that if you are sad and lonely, just reach out, break down the wall and someone whom you thought have forgotten about you will talk to you. ;)

Sometimes, roads have to be paved by yourself and if you do not give up, success will be at the end of the road.

Treasuring...

2005-08-23T18:03:00.000+08:00

To be honest, this is 1 area which I am always not good at. That is why I ran up into a lot of problems in the past which are not very nice to know. Those problems are, of course for me to know only...

Firstly when I started this topic, all I could think about is
(1) Family
(2) Friends
(3) Situation you are in (be it you are still studying or working)

Then I realise what is also missing out. Memories of the past. When one thinks back, (the older you are the more things you will think back about) can one really say he or she is very proud of what he or she has done? Be it in the field of treating your family, friends, decisions you make, relationships?

Do you not wonder sometimes if you did it in another way, things would turn out to be better for you and for the rest?

It is no use crying over spilt milk. The main thing now is to go ahead and move on and to be sure that you will do it the best the first time you do anything or decide on anything wisely so that you can treasure your memories...

Sometimes it does not hurt to just listen to sound advices even if you do not like, so that you will not regret years later...

EducationZzz

2005-08-20T13:46:00.000+08:00

I will not go into the theories and concepts which everyone is debating about in the forums, in the newspapers and in the teaching community. I want to talk about this in simpler terms, from the view point of students.

I do not claim that I know what the students nowadays think of education, but I was at least a student myself and that gave me some right in posting my viewpoint although it might not be so relevant in the present situation.

Education is always regarded as imparting knowledge and skills to the recipients who will be the students in this case. However, knowledge can also be obtained from books solely and by self study. This is true and many who make it into the tertiary education can attest to that.

So then, if knowledge can be imparted by the means of education cds, books, internet, then why do we still need to go to the school? Is it just solely because the teachers need to teach them the syllabus only? If it is so, I won't want to teach.

One aspect of education is character development which I find it one of the most meaningful part. Do people just believe in what other people say? Will you find out the truth yourself? Do people just follow what other people do and think? Do people simply do not bother about any unhappy things and just leave them alone?
Do you report or intervene or ignore those things you feel it is inappropriate? And what is REALLY inappropriate?

All these answers have to be found by yourself with the help of the people around you, be they teachers, or friends or students... That is why school life is a part of learning as well...

If you have any other opinions, feel free to leave a comment. If you are unable to, you can drop me an email @ <sularis99@yahoo.com> ...

Cheerz

Stay HappIzZzz

2005-08-14T10:51:00.000+08:00

Life can make us very depressing. There are a lot of things around for us to worry about, such as examinations, friendship, relationships, work, family, blah blah blah...
So often are we caught up in all these, that we forgot something so important and yet so basic...
I remember the first time I went to school in Primary school... I feel that I will enjoy school life, learning new things, making friends and not be alone.
I remember the first time I made my first friend... It was so fun and sothat I wanted to make more friends.
I remember the first time I went into teaching... It was full of excitement and I was determined to have the students know that school life is so fun and to help them along...
What's the common word here? FIRST!
If we are sad, we can always remind ourselves that when we first want to do something, we really want to enjoy and be happy, and not the other way round. SO why not work harder and find that happiness which we lost over a long time? ;)

True feelings are always the purest and are always known when you first feel about something...

Ego vs Important Stuff...

2005-08-11T21:21:00.000+08:00

A blog written with a splitting headache never makes sense, yet this is precisely what I am going to do. Hey, how many times can one really get one times large bump on your forehead? I have my thanks to the badminton racket which cracked my head. Haha.

I do for now when I cannot even remember when was my last time I got a bump on my head. When I reached home, all the traditional remedies came up, my fondest a hanky wrapped up hard boiled egg and my mom to press roll it on the bump. It was just like a heated up iron trying to flatten the bump into nothing and it hurt big time.

This may not be relevant to you since my friends always complained about bloggers writing nonsenical stuff about their lives, but it does lead me to the topic. The first thing when I realised I have the bump was to check if it was obvious and not whether it was really painful or bleeding. Looks matter more to me at that point of time when it should be to check out if I am severely injured. This shows how much sense I have in me....

Ego... It is not self-confidence, not knowing if you can do it or not. Ego is misplaced pride. Thinking you are right, you automatically reject others' views and opinions. You also automatically reject other people's advices and you are blind to others who really do care about you.

Ego blinds you to your wrongs. It also blinds you to people around you. You feel invincible. What's so wrong about breaking the rules once a while? You will never get caught. What's so wrong about showing attitude to other people? You do not care and those people are not worth your care.

Ego deafens you. It does not allow you to listen to people's advices. It only lets you listen to what you want, what you feel it is right. If anything goes against you, it will not be heard by you. You will just brush it aside with a superior 'bah.' What do these people know? They do not have as much worldly experience as you do. You know better.

I am not imploring or begging you to push aside your ego. To take away one's ego is like killing some people. I am reminding those who are full of ego not to ignore those people around you who care about you. Be their advices not likeable by you. Be that you feel that they are irritating, telling you that this is wrong and that is right. Just do not ignore them for they do care about you...

Listening is not about listening to what you want to hear. It is about knowing all the goods and bads and then deciding wisely what you should do.

That ParticulArzzZ SkooLZZzz

2005-08-09T21:10:00.000+08:00

At first, when I was posted to 'that particular school', I lost my way there. Then when I reached that school, I realised it is a mixed single session primary school. My first impression was that this school is extremely new, the facilities just set up and everything gives the impression that it has not even been really used.

My feelings... Objectively, I know that this will be the place to decide if I can proceed on to study and become a full fledged Teacher ('Cher' in short). Emotionally, I know that this will also be the place for me to decide if teaching is my cup of tea, if I am capable of teaching.

I would have thought teaching would be about subject contents and how well I am able to convey the knowledge and contents to the students. I would have thought I would be tested on how well I can manage the class. It will just like a test to me.

I was wrong. My stay in that particular school challenged my every ideal, my every decision. It challenged my judgement, my capabilities, my almost everything. Everything which seems to be OK or 'should be like that' to me was vaporised during my stay there and I have to reorganise myself all over again.

So... A bit scary right? Actually maybe it's just peanuts to the other contract teachers out there, maybe I am just stupid or maybe I am just overly concerned about my ideals for teaching. Help~~!...

From a confused soul...

Confusion blinds you to your path and misleads you. Do not always think you know because there are always matters which you do not know. It is just that you have not met those matters yet.

Man In Black

2005-08-09T16:35:00.000+08:00

THIS is my pen name for the blog. One reason why I keep my blog simple and readable is because the audience may be the students whom I have known before and they will straight away understand what my pen name stands for ... with a smile I hope or whatever kind of facial expression which I rather not imagine.

I chose this because it represents a lot of things. It makes me think of all those wonderful times in that particular school. It reminds me of all those wonderful students over at that particular school. It practically reminds me of the word 'GreaT'.

Haha, nope. The previous paragraph is all irrelevant. I chose this name because it so happened that I was thinking about that particular school when I had to register for the blog and I am quite fond of the nickname I got over at that particular school.

One More Thing... I chose this pen name because I like MIB the movie as well as the colour black...

When one is not focused in what he or she is doing, the thing he or she is doing will become crap... In this case, this entry of blog...

Cheerz

TeAcHinG the New InZz..

2005-08-08T18:38:00.000+08:00

If you have bothered to take a look at my profile, you will note that my ambition or rather I would say dream is to teach. I would prefer dream since I have not considered teaching as a career job yet. I was so 'onz' about teaching that when I failed my first interview to get into teaching, I tried again.

By the time I went for the 2nd interview, I was already working in the society for a year but I was still very excited about it. The moment I stepped into the cold interview room with 3 late middle-aged women looking at me, I was not scared nor apprehensive at all. I was thinking, "Hell, if you wish to fail me again, I am prepared to come again and again for interview till you agree."

Guess what? I got in...

The question posed to me was, "Why do you want to teach?"

That was also the question posed to so many would be teachers who passed the interview. I told them in short that I do not consider teaching as a job but rather a choice of life I choose to lead. In my opinion, a good teacher is really as good as giving his or her life away.

That is not what other teachers may think. They will be thinking the best teacher will be able to find a balance.... A balance between teaching, knowing the students, caring for the students, keeping in contact with the students, preparing lessons for the classes, preparing worksheets or written assignments, marking assignments, revising assignments with students, handle administrative (paper work) for their classes, handle school duties, handle CCAs (prepare CCAs' activities, knowing the students, caring for the students, keeping in contact with the students...), handle duties such as special event like carnival's organiser..., knowing the school's focus and values, knowing parents, handling parents....., not to say their families, their kids, their spouses (be it 'lao po' or 'lao gong'), caring for their parents..... ...... ..... blah and blah and blah.......

The list may never end and you readers will be rushing to the toilet to puke...

Be realistic... We need to know what we have to do. For myself, I have a theory for myself. I mostly will actually focus on my students. After all, teachers are there for the students... Lessons?? Well, for those who have studied for years, don't lie to yourself that you just need to read the textbooks and supplementaries and you sure can pass. Teachers are there to teach the subjects and more about life to the students....

However, then again, different teachers of course will have their ideals. It is good to have an ideal so that the teachers can draw strength from their ideals. Teachers can be weak as well, since we are still humans.

;)

Cheerz...

The First Company......

2005-08-07T18:00:00.000+08:00

Haha, English is always fun. By saying the first company where I did not put in the words at the back, people can always wonder if I am going to write about the first company in the world, or in Singapore or in my house. I am actually only going to write about the first company where I stepped in to work after ending my studies.

For those who are already working, it may just any other companies, but then, it was the first company which I stepped in to work, and the feeling would be more like of anxiety, and apprehension. What if I cannot succeed there? What if people there do not like me?

Anyway, it is just all pure wild guesses. The people there were helpful and interesting. I got to know a lot of good people there, especially my Team Leader, Support Team Leader, the people who sat near my cubicle, and I even got to know a good friend. ;)

Life there is about sitting down and listening in to complaints. There will always come a point when you will be able to breathe in calmly and reply calmly when you hear too many complaints. The complaints out there simply never end and a large percentage of the complaints show that they did not bother to understand at all too! However, I handled them quite nicely when I thought if I explained to them, they might be able to understand the situation and not call in anymore.

So there, I learnt quite a lot in my first company.

Moral of the story:
(1) Don't worry too much. You won't REALLY know whether it will turn out fine or not.
(2) Understand. Don't complain.
(3) Enjoy friendship as long as it takes!
(4).... And English can be fun.. =P

ReCaPzZzZZ

2005-08-07T17:45:00.000+08:00

Before...

I would say I have been through quite a lot of U-turns in life because of my mistakes in life and mistakes in choices and attitudes. It is quite an ugly blotch on the paper of my life's journey.

Suffice to say, if you want a bed of roses for your future, do not make wrong choices, especially in the academic path you are taking.

I am not proud to say that I gave up on my university education mid-way, but there is no point crying over all the spilled milk. Neither am I proud to say that I was very immature in the past. However, if I were to take a time machine back into the past, I would still repeat what I know I should not have done. The only consolation in all the wrong things I did is that I at least learn from my mistakes and met so many wonderful people whom I would not have met if I did not spill the milk...

So there, moral of the story:
(1) Do not make wrong choices in life or you will have to take long detours.
(2) If you really did wrong, no point crying, but pick yourself up and move on.
(3) Appreciate the people around you.

Strength is not what you think you have, but what you have earned through life experiences.

The Reason

2005-08-07T01:42:00.000+08:00

I was not really against the blog. Being the kaypo king, I always like to go to read others' blogs... Only to realise that keeping blogs is a good way to keep in touch with other friends.... Here we are, hardly having time to go out and keep in touch with every one whom we regard as friends and yet we always say, "Keep in touch!" to our friends... A total irony..

For those who are slacking around, surfing the net, a welcome to you all to at least read through and know that I am still surviving and updating things I am doing, so at least I am not really MIA, or classified as a Missing Person in your list...

Cheerz...

A New Start...

2005-08-06T12:24:00.000+08:00

Yo~~!

I would never think that I would start a blog, but here I am... Guess whatever I will be saying here will most probably end up with '.....' because my thoughts will be trailing as I type, just like now.....

The main reason of starting a blog will be.... that my fingers are itchy... just want to do some stuff whenever I slack... I cannot be always staring at the ceiling everytime I slack. It will be most boring. So that's how I end up here.

Life is full of possibilities... no matter how lame the possibilities and reasons they may turn out to be.....